I went to the chiropractor yesterday for the first time since last May.
My previous chiropractor was more the touch=feel-CRACK kind of doctor. She didn’t beat me up too brutally, but she would feel for blockages or tightness and then miraculously find the perfect way to release them. Sometimes she would concentrate on one area, sometimes she would crack several. Some days it hurt, some days it felt incredible. I still remember my first adjustment from her. I could barely turn my head and my back was completely stiff. She had me sit on the edge of the table, and cross my arms in front of me. She took me into a great strong hug, and then bent down to slowly roll my back onto the table.
Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, aaaahhh!
This doctor is different. He takes a much more specific and scientific approach. He took x-rays of my neck to see exactly what was going on in there to the last centimeter. He won’t do that every time, but that is how he begins. Then he decides on the exact angle and approach to adjustment to fix the problem. This whole process took almost two hours. When he actually got to the adjustment part it included one (well two) strange pressures on my neck as I lay on my side, and one lift and crack of my neck. The crack definitely got one of the spots that I am most aware of, but I don’t know yet if the adjustment has done anything permanently helpful. I understand that his approach is to make small, correct and truly necessary adjustments for long-lasting results.
But I have to admit I miss that immediate sense of release.
I’m still reserving judgment as to which method works better or will ultimately help me find the natural flow that can allow our bodies to help heal themselves. I do believe that we have some of that power inside of us, and that we rely too much nowadays on medicated solutions to our problems. I simply have to give my body time to adjust to the adjustment.
Yesterday I felt like I had too many balls in the air and was about to drop every single one, but I could not refuse to catch any of the new ones thrown my way, even the ones I threw away last May hoping to never see again. I had hoped that my visit to the chiropractor would help me get centered again, both physically and mentally. But today the balls have turned into butterflies and fireflies; Beautiful to watch, but I have even less control over them.
I feel disconnected. My thoughts flit around my head like glittering butterflies in the sun; silent and beautiful, but very delicate and fragile. I cannot focus in on any one of them because it will either fly away or try to blend into its surroundings. I am left with the delicate tingle of dust in the sky.
Not that all of my thoughts are positive ones or even negative ones. They are simply firefly thoughts, beckoning me to follow wherever they lead.
Is this disconnect the result of my spine reconnecting? Or do I still need some adjustments made, both mentally and physically?
I guess only time will tell, and a follow up visit to the chiropractor tomorrow.
Or maybe I simply need to sit and watch the figurative fireflies until summer comes and I can reconnect with their real magic. That sounds like the best solution of them all.