4:23 AM and Nathan is not home.
I can’t sleep. I woke up just after 3 am to notice the gaping emptiness of the bed next to me, and I could not go back to sleep.
He started working at 8 AM yesterday morning, and as far as I know he is still working.
Nathan is an incredibly talented designer as well as an incredible technical director. He is one of the hardest working people I know. He can’t stop. Where I have the
ability tendency to embrace laziness in between bursts of activity, he is always doing something. He loves to cook, so he does most of the cooking. I hate laundry (plus we have to go to a laundromat for the time being) so he does the laundry. Lest you think I do nothing, I tend to be the cleaner/organizer. I keep track of the schedules and the bills. But he does a lot of the stuff around the house because he cannot be still.
And, to be honest, because he cannot say “No.” Nor does he stand up for himself even if it is the saner option. His attitude seems to be “If that is what you want, I’ll make it happen. I’ll find a way how.”
That’s a wonderful thing, except when his willingness to give everyone the ideal leads to 4:30 in the morning. That is when mistakes and injuries can occur–and often those happen to him.
I can’t sleep.
That explains this moment. He is still at the theater after putting up an unrealistically huge and (in my opinion) unrealistically expensive set in one day, he now (I assume) is finessing the lights for his design. Yes, it is his job, and the set needed to happen. But the problem lies in the fact that this huge set is not really a theater set. In your typical theater set you use flats and less expensive material in order to create an illusion of the real locations. But the designer of this set (who is from somewhere else) as well as the producer of this festival insisted on REAL material and SOLID construction. To be fair, Nathan expressed concern and objected, but in typical fashion he backed down and gave in. That would have been okay except for a few unexpected glitches in the plan 1) the person who was supposed to take on sections of the set to help build them had a family emergency; 2) the designer chose not to come and help (because this was not a paid design); 3) the technical assistance that he was hoping to get from some people we have worked with in the past fell through because nobody wanted to work for free (surprise, surprise) and 4) some of the students here seem to think that scholarship hours are optional and he has basically been building the entire thing himself.
Wait . . . 4:41 AM and the door just opened. He’s home, exhausted and not thinking straight. He just said, “I’m not done. The patch is wrong. The stage isn’t cleared. They need to be on the stage at 9:30. I have to go back by 8am.”
Then he started babbling listing things yet to do–not all of which he should have to deal with.
I was intending this post to be only about how wonderful Nathan is, but it seems to be turning into a little rant. I apologize for that. Nathan is a kind husband, father, and my best friend. He is a gentle man who loves simple and sometimes silly things. But, perhaps his fatal flaw is wanting to please everybody and losing himself in the process. Tonight is an excellent example.
Looks like I’m about to put on my Super Woman outfit and protect my family. I will try to step into his shoes for a little while so that the poor man can sleep. I also might have to step in and plead for some sanity instead of the “Inge-sanity” that seems to rule right now. As I just posted in Facebook: “Ingesanity + Ingesomina=One Very Angry Woman.
This should be interesting.