Sometimes I wish I had been one of those people who never left home, and was content staying in the town she grew up in living among family and friends who have known her forever.
But I’m not. Instead I have been a person who travels, gathering experiences and friends wherever I go.
Yet, I find it difficult to make friends, difficult to trust. Not because of my travelling ways but for numerous other reasons that are difficult to explain or understand. I am shy. I doubt my worthiness as a friend. I don’t feel cool enough. I don’t want to intrude. All of these reasons and more make it challenging for me to become close to people.
So when I connect with people in a deep way, I don’t want to let them go. And yet, inevitably, the time comes for the next part of journey and I have to say goodbye to people I’ve only just begun to know. This time is particularly bittersweet, as our stay here has been so short.
While I know I must say goodbye, I hope that the connections I’ve made in this world continue to grow and strengthen. The people I’ve met along the way have all become part of my story and I hope that I am still part of theirs.
Farewell my friends from Independence. I will miss you all.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 09:32:06
Gulp. Speechless. Where is the ” SEND HUG” button when you need it?
Aug 21, 2011 @ 09:35:10
I think you just did it even without the button.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 09:53:57
Being a new on-looker to your journey (and honored by this) – I can say I saw a hundred smiles in that slide show. Your friends have given you a great gift to hold and use when times get tough.
Just as you worry that you may be shy or unworthy – the person you will meet feels the same way. As a fellow shy person – I empathize and send support.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 11:18:32
I’m honored that you have joined me on my journey. Perhaps we can break through shyness with our words and posts.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 10:02:33
I can so relate to this post! Farewells are indeed hard; hang in there!
Aug 21, 2011 @ 10:19:50
Here is the bald truth: there is no permanence. If we’re lucky, we get to play in the same sandbox with the same castle builders we love working and playing with for a long time, unless of course, we hate the feel of sand. Then it’s not so fun. But mostly, we come to think in forever terms. And then comes the message: move on to the next sandbox. “But, but, I’m not done buiilding this sandcastle!” Oh, yes you are. It was never meant for completion. Only for contribution. To add your piece. To play your part.
You are good at this, though you seem not to recognize it. You seek to contribute. Not to find comfort. Comfort, if you can contribute, is the by-product. Surrender that “I’m not worthy” feeling. Most of us really do have some worth at least some of the time. Look on all you do and all that you are as others see you, and you can trust what I see: “Yep! she’s worthy!” Worth knowing. Worth writing with. Worth supporting. Worthy. Worthy. Worthy. What, you think I spend time at your blog because I’m bored? I mean, Lisa, who could you be if you recognized your true value? Find it and spend it like a drunken sailor, tap in and use up. Love that girl and stop denying her. She. Is. Worthy.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 11:09:45
Barbarann, You.Are. Wonderful.
I have honestly come a long way in seeing myself as worthy. I just delve into old self-doubts when I become a little overwhelmed. But ultimately I really do believe in myself. I promise.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 11:20:13
Well, it sounds like you have many places you can return and see old pals again…and there’s comfort in that. Also, you’re not leaving your blog or facebook, you can easily keep in touch and just think of all the new adventures waiting in your next journey.
Sandi
http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
Lake Forest, CA
Aug 21, 2011 @ 11:25:57
Very true Sandi. And I’m also making new friends through this amazing blog, many of whom (yourself included) I hope to meet in person someday. Next week I am going to meet Kathy. I’m very excited about that.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 11:23:53
Just think, if you hadn’t said hello you wouldn’t have these wonderful memories!
Aug 21, 2011 @ 11:24:49
So true. Sometimes “Hello” is a difficult word to say too, but I’m getting better at it.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 13:09:04
I want you to promise that a year from now…..MARK YOUR CALENDAR….you’ll look back and tell us how far you’ve come! Few of us will be surprised, but you’ll be singing the Hallelujah chorus! There’s amazing growth in front of you. It’s the whole reason for the journey. Buiding Barbarann, building Lisa, building Sandi and juile and Kathy and…..we’re all on the same road. We’re sometimes on different parts that converge, but we’re going to the same place.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 13:24:46
LOL. Well hopefully I’ll be keeping you updated as I go, but I just put it as a task on my calendar.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 13:09:11
Farewells are hard. The slide show is bittersweet. We only moved 35 minutes away from the community where we raised our kids and I still haven’t acclimated. I know very few people here. It’s harder to do once your kids are gone.
Lucky for you that you have your little bundle of sunshine going with you.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 13:21:07
It is harder without kids, that’s for sure. But I have faith that both of us can do this.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 14:48:59
Goodbyes are extremely tough. I can relate to what you said about having difficulty making friends. But you made strong connections while you were here and I hope you encounter many more great friends in the next chapter of your journey.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 17:20:02
Thank you. I’m sure I will, I just have to be patient.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 15:18:07
tell me about it. we have to move every three years from one country to another due to my job. we just left Spain to move to Africa. For me it´s like leaving one part of my heart behind and take the other wounded, bleeding one with me! i am no good for bidding farewell either. what makes it bearable for me is the faith that we will meet again. So i always say “hasta luego” instead of “adios”!
but there is no way around it. it is the pain of separation that we have to go through…
with lots of good wishes,
Samyak
Aug 21, 2011 @ 17:19:36
My hardest departure was leaving Japan after living there for three years. Painful is so many ways, but necessary.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 18:17:29
I used to cry when I said good-bye.
With each move, I’ve gotten more pragmatic about saying good-bye to people, places, and things. We travel best when we travel light.
It’s hard to embrace the future with open arms if we refuse to let go of the past.
Cheers!
Aug 21, 2011 @ 19:18:35
I’m allowing a few tears to flow, but at the same time knowing that its the best thing for us.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 18:24:09
A very touching post and from all those smiles I see in the slide show–you, and Nathan and Sarah have touched them all in some special way!
Aug 21, 2011 @ 19:18:04
What a sweet thing to say.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 23:34:26
I can definitely relate to this post. I used to move all of the time, but just moving now, I realize that I don’t feel as outgoing as I used to. Saying goodbye is difficult. There are some really amazing people there, but you are a very likable person, and I know you will meet some wonderful people where ever you are and remain friends with those you left behind.
Gathering friends everywhere you go.
Aug 22, 2011 @ 08:08:07
Thanks Heather. Since you were one of the most recent friends gathered, that means a lot.
Aug 22, 2011 @ 08:30:06
Oh, Lisa, I know how you feel. I think we may have a good bit in common in this regard. But, I am so looking forward to meeting you in person. Can’t wait for Friday! We’ll have fun.
Kathy
Aug 22, 2011 @ 09:07:02
Kathy, I believe you and I have a lot in common in many ways. I’m excited for Friday!
Aug 22, 2011 @ 09:27:47
Sad to say goodbye but they’ll always be part of your life wherever you go and sounds like you’ve made many wonderful friends despite being shy so be confident and proud!