Have you ever had a day where it all seems like a waste of time?
I’m not talking about writer’s block, but that feeling that the pursuit of creativity, of words, of passion seems like spinning wheels to get you nowhere. After all, the reality of being able to make a real living this way is slim to none. As I get deeper into my course on self-publishing, I realize that there is no secret solution except writing, creating, working hard, and repeating until maybe you make a crack in the market.
It is disillusioning and intimidating.
While I write a lot, and have hundreds of ideas, I seem to be all over the place–unable to commit to one project and really focus on it. I am lacking the discipline I need.
Why? Because I am working for myself. I have nobody giving me deadlines. I don’t have a looming production date. All I have is me, my ideas, and my dreams.
And those don’t seem to be enough.
So, today I am making an attempt at refocusing. I am making a plan. What kind of plan? I have no idea, but it is time to give myself the focus and discipline I need. I need deadlines. I need goals. I need specific details. I need someone to check in and say, you will get xyz done by such-and-such a day.
Barring any of that, I need a swift kick in the butt. Any volunteers?
Nov 28, 2011 @ 10:26:24
Lisa- I’m a slave to planning- That can kill creativity, too. haha! If you find the balance, I would love it!
I break all my lists up by category into short, near and long term goals-
For instance, for the book I’m working on:
Near Term: (within 6 weeks): Write the intro, build an outline
Short Term: (Within 3 months): Write two chapters
Long-Term (Within 2 years): Finish the book. Begin editing.
I have lots of lists like this one- and I keep up with them on my “Happiness Wall”- a goofy name for something that is really just a goal management board. Good luck!
Nov 28, 2011 @ 10:29:45
Ok, so now I need to add to my planning list, create a Happiness Wall (I love that idea).
I may just steal your list, maybe it will help.
I’m feeling overwhelmed and useless at the moment.
Poop.
Lisa
Nov 28, 2011 @ 10:32:54
Butt kicking now! I think you have the right idea, make a list of all the things you want to do, priortise them and set deadlines. Make it manageable and fun. You should then post them up here so you have to do them
Nov 28, 2011 @ 10:36:02
Ow! My butt hurts.
I’m trying to do that, but I’m really stuck. However, once I get the list done I will post them as long as you promise to make me stick to them.
Nov 28, 2011 @ 10:38:55
Lisa- don’t feel that way-
I actually am committing to make a goal of “making fewer goals” this year.
I feel like the year has passed and it has been a blur. It’s been highly productive- but there is still a mountain to do. It’s made it so that I don’t remember the important moments. I’m committing to not let that happen again.
Give yourself some time and space. I’m trying to follow that advice myself. The key, I think, is to map out the timeline (realistically so that you’re not frantically trying to meet lofty deadlines).
Nov 28, 2011 @ 10:47:29
I read your comment and started crying. That’s not a bad thing, more like a necessary thing. I am in a transition year, and it is very difficult at times. I have to remember that everything takes time, and that I have the right to take that time to create the life I want. I think I’m just feeling judged by others at the moment for not just “getting a job” or being willing to sacrifice time with my family for “easy solutions.” I didn’t realize I was feeling any of this until I read your comment, so thank you for that.
Nov 28, 2011 @ 11:05:20
Lisa- I would offer to kick your butt except that I can see it now as they slap the handcuffs on me for abusive conduct! The argument “but she asked for it” doesn’t seem to hold much weight with the authorities. I am like you, working away and seemingly making no progress because I have no one to answer to but myself. Then I realized that, hey, I might not have finished the novel I’m writing but I sure have grown a lot this year. And I’m getting to like myself again! Blogging has really given me back the incentive to finish writing (I’m half way done). Certainly not by the end of the year but maybe in 6 months time it will be completed. Wanna race? Just get it down. Then work on editing. Don’t edit as you write! (My little bit of advice which I never stick to.)
Nov 28, 2011 @ 11:44:34
LOL, especially if you approached me with a kick intended and I never met you before. It could lead to a sticky situation. I’m pretty good at not self-editing too much while I write, My problem seems to be more that I have all these ideas but can’t figure out where they lead. I’m trying. I’m working. I’ll get there, and then the race is on. Welcome to my blog.
Nov 28, 2011 @ 12:35:28
God, we are in the same place, aren’t we, my friend! Shall we try holding one another accountable? I don’t want to kick you, as that might be admitting I too need a kick. Take the advice you gave me a while ago–let that be your kick in the ass!
I’m going to try taking a nap to see if that helps–an attmept to reboot my brain and start over. I will check back with you later this afternoon.
Just write. I think we forget that we have to write a lot of crap to get to the good stuff. The good writers are the ones who persist–despite the crap–through the crap and beyond to the pieces of lovely writing we eventually arrive at from time to time.
Reread Anne Lamott’s “Bird by Bird”–especially the chapter called “Shitty First Drafts.”
See you a little later. Hugs——————————
Kathy
Nov 28, 2011 @ 12:42:29
Kathy,
I hope your nap helps. I have no problem with writing shitty first drafts, I just can’t seem to write anything. I have nothing to say, or no ideas that last long enough to get on the page. But, this too shall pass, I’m just on the low which means a high should be coming soon.
Hugs to you too.
Lisa
Nov 28, 2011 @ 12:55:31
If you find someone to give you a swift kick in the butt, will you please send them to my house next? I need a kick and motivation and maybe even a pep-talk. I attempted NaNoWriMo this month and failed miserably. I’m not giving up on my story though, I’m just procrastinating. I’m such an expert at that. Dare I admit, I checked course offerings at a local college today. I thought perhaps I should educate myself in something that doesn’t involve creativity, because those jobs pay money. I think it’s all just a slump. It will pass. In the meantime I’m eating chocolate.
Would chocolate work for you? Sorry I am no help at all. You are a great and gifted writer though and you will succeed. Give yourself a break and then get back at it, because you’re good and accomplishment is a really great feeling. Best of luck!
~FringeGirl
Nov 28, 2011 @ 14:10:33
We can just kick each other’s butts and be done with it. Don’t be down on yourself for NaNoWriMo. Seriously, It think it just sets up unnecessary pressures. Some of the best works ever written took years and years to write, so why do we think faster is better? Education is good if it is something you really want to learn, but taking something because it will make more money isn’t always the answer. I want to take some business courses, I think, so I can be smarter about working for myself, but really all I want to take is more “useless” creativity courses like pottery or painting or belly dancing. I guess that’s where I belong.
Chocolate cures all ills except for being overweight.
Nov 28, 2011 @ 13:44:52
Lisa- I wasn’t trying to make you cry- but like I said in the blogging forum- You don’t need to answer to anyone on your choices- and you def don’t answer or need to worry about anyone’s feelings who might judge you. Your choices are your own. I bet you could find some aspects of the judgers’ lives worthy of judgment yourself if let yourself.
Nov 28, 2011 @ 14:06:47
It was a necessary cry, no worries.
Nov 28, 2011 @ 15:10:35
Set a timer for ten minutes–take on one project, reset timer for another project, then another. One hour later, you’ve hit six projects and have a much better idea of where to spend your energy that day. Ten minutes isn’t nearly as intimidating as a chapter. The ding of the timer is your kick–but since it comes after ten minutes; it’s welcome.
I’d gotten into the habit of waiting for a large chunk of time before I tackled something. The time I needed grew as the project grew tentacles. This technique helped me get back into a project before thoughts of it destroyed my hopes for it.
Happy to assist in any other way, Robin
Nov 28, 2011 @ 15:12:50
Great suggestion, Robin. I’ll try it tomorrow and let you know how it goes.
Nov 28, 2011 @ 16:24:09
Big left foot here. Bend over!
Nov 28, 2011 @ 16:31:07
You just made me laugh out loud. I’m skeered!
Nov 28, 2011 @ 18:04:22
I like Robin’s suggestion too. Always good to break big things up into little chunks.
Nov 28, 2011 @ 19:01:32
That’s my plan for tomorrow, we’ll see how it goes.
Nov 28, 2011 @ 19:55:13
Start out with a list of goals. Tackle the hardest one first or the one you least want to do. Then move to the second worst . . . I always make these type of lists while I’m off in the summer and I’ve been very successful and productive. I am worried though, Lisa, that once I retire in June, I’ll need to be making lists all the time.
Nov 29, 2011 @ 07:18:41
Terry, part of the problem is that they are all difficult, and some of them probably aren’t quite ready to be tackled. But the hardest one is getting the list written at the moment.
I think you will be fine once you retire, since you already enjoy life so much and have projects and things you enjoy doing. I think, in a way, my struggle is related, because I’m not working full time and don’t know how to fill me time wisely. But I’m learning, and someday I will be busier than I can believe again.
Lisa
Nov 29, 2011 @ 13:56:42
I really admire anyone who tries to make a living from writing. We employ content writers and they are paid peanuts in terms of the hours they work researching and then writing up the fruits of their research.
IMHO, hitting the jackpot through writing must be like winning the lottery in terms of the odds? However, as long as you enjoy the journey and you are not starving…
Time is like cupboard space…
When I worked full time I crammed more into my days then I do now. For example I am meant to be responding to emails from prospective columnists and what have I been doing for the last hour? Reading blog posts and writing comments as I have, yes…fallen behind. Like you I really need to organise my time.
I think we need to write down our long, mid and short term goals then set ourselves clear objcetives of how we are going to achieve them.
Good Luck Lisa
PiP
Nov 29, 2011 @ 14:09:22
I think I’m afraid to commit them to paper because then they exist for all to see, and if I don’t achieve them then the failure becomes even more obvious.
At the same time, I just don’t really know what my goals are anymore. I’ve achieved a lot of things in my life, and now I don’t know what I want.
Bleah.
Dec 04, 2011 @ 16:19:58
I’m the same way with deadlines, Lisa. I can’t stand them but they really do help to keep me on track, motivated, and accountable. I can offer a virtual butt-kicking if you like… GET TO WORK, YOU!!
There. Better?
Dec 04, 2011 @ 16:42:24
My butt hurts, but thanks.
Dec 04, 2011 @ 20:37:20
I wish I had some great motivational speech for you, but I have been struggling to kick my own butt lately, to no avail (not double-jointed).
I think the only thing to do is to keep at it, keep at it, keep at it. The good feelings will come back. I think.