“I’m sorry, but the number you have reached has been disconnected.”
Have you ever felt like there was a complete disconnect between your brain and your reality?
Today I seem to be wandering in a fog of disconnection. I don’t know the cause. It could be one of any number of things:
- the shift in the weather (from broiling 100+ to a downright comfortable 80 degrees, but with thunderstorms attached);
- the numerous days of uncomfortable, back-breaking sleep in beds that come right out of Goldilocks (this bed is too hard, this bed is too soft, where is the one that’s JUST RIGHT?)
- the search for identity that seems to occur every time I set foot on this lot
- or simply a disconnect that has to happen once in a while.
How does the disconnect work? Well, it seems like ideas pop into my head and then get stuck before they can be put on the page, the stage, or anywhere in the universe. Sometimes my body wants to do one thing, but my brain does not want to cooperate. Sometimes words come out of my mouth but seem to float in the ether, rather than make contact with anyone else’s ears. Take this morning for example:
Nathan: Who did you pick up yesterday? What are the names of Michael’s wife and daughter?
Me: (just waking up) Um . . . Kimberly and um . . . I can’t think of her name right now. I forget.
Nathan: OK, but what is the daughter’s name?
Me: I JUST SAID I DON”T REMEMBER!
Nathan: Oh, yeah . . . sorry.
Conversations like this happen all the time. Either I don’t speak loudly enough, or there is a disconnect between the words that come out of my mouth and the words people hear.
It’s funny that, just as I begin thinking about the connections we make in our world I feel more disconnected with myself, my work, and the life that seems to swirl around me as I wade through unable to touch or be touched.
Do you ever feel completely disconnected? What do you do to reconnect?
Freaky side note, as I just went to place tags on this post, one of the recommended tags is “Borderline personality disorder”. Did I just get psychoanalyzed by a WordPress App? I’m not sure how I feel about that, but hey . . . maybe I should just go with the flow. 
Thoughts?
Jul 07, 2012 @ 11:44:05
Nah – wordpress just picked up on “reality” and “disconnect” and ran the phrases through to discover that others who used those phrases picked that tag. My disconnect is called exhaustion.
Jul 07, 2012 @ 11:45:47
Exhaustion might be a factor in my present condition. . . since I have beds from hell in a cabin where the air conditioner is ancient.
Jul 07, 2012 @ 12:07:21
In the heat everyone is just stupid. I hate the word but it describes the condition of just plain not being able to pay sufficient attention to anything. Driving these last few days has been quite the adventure. Hoping the cooler temps will help. Expect you’ll recover too once you’re home from the cabin and get some real sleep.
Jul 07, 2012 @ 14:33:21
I will be here for another month . . . so the stupidity will only grow before I’m back.
Jul 07, 2012 @ 12:19:03
You’re not disconnected – yet. You communicate through your blog – which I’ve been completely disconnected from in the past two months. I get e-mail notifications when you post. I mark them so I can go back and read them. I haven’t – until just now. I’m too busy – even to visit my own blog which has had one post from me in about as long a time since I visited yours. If anybody should be worried about disconnect, it’s me (:
Jul 07, 2012 @ 14:32:46
Being busy is a good thing. The funny thing is I feel disconnected even in the blog. I know I have posted here and there, but I have not posted as often nor commented as much.
Jul 07, 2012 @ 12:22:37
Just in a continual state of disconnect.
Jul 07, 2012 @ 14:32:04
At least we are in good company.
Jul 07, 2012 @ 13:53:05
I seem to be in a fog of disconnect more often than not!
Jul 07, 2012 @ 14:31:35
Sometimes the state of fog is a good place to be.
Jul 07, 2012 @ 18:37:30
Absentminded and disconnected are not the same thing.
Jul 08, 2012 @ 11:03:04
True. Sadly, sometimes I am both.
Jul 07, 2012 @ 21:42:21
This tells you how little I know. Didn’t realize you could get “recommended” tags. I could probably use that from time to time. When I need to either connect OR disconnect, I sleep–a one-size-fits-all solution to what ails me. LOL
Hugs,
Kathy
Jul 08, 2012 @ 11:02:25
Somewhere in the Dashboard you can sign up to use something called Zemanta wich helps recommending tags and pictures.
Sleep is a cure all, if I could only sleep.
Jul 08, 2012 @ 06:55:22
Too much on my plate is the reason for my disconnect. There are days I will be so crazy-busy that, ironically, I have no idea what to do next, so I do nothing. I stand in the middle of whatever room I’m in, and I breathe in and out very slowly and pray for order. It comes, my mind slows down and I’m able to access the list of tasks so that I can accomplish goals and be productive.
Jul 08, 2012 @ 16:43:30
I get that feeling from time to time too. It’s almost as if my brain is filled with white noise instead of proper thoughts and my body just does its own thing without me being sat in the driving seat. I have never figured out a way to actively get out of that state, but sleep helps (if I can switch the white noise off in the first place) and if that fails the next stage of hormonal change usually does the trick. Le sigh…..
Jul 08, 2012 @ 18:41:29
Ugh, hormones. Maybe that is the problem.
Jul 10, 2012 @ 09:06:28
Having Fibromyalgia I suffer from fibro fog occasionally. I have learned to embrace this disconnect as a mini vacation from my daily stress. There is absolutely nothing that can be done to repair this impairment so I might as well enjoy it.
Jul 10, 2012 @ 11:32:31
I’m sorry you have to suffer with Fibromyalgia, but I am glad you have found a way to enjoy the moment.
I wish I could blame my fog on something physical, but I really don’t know where it comes from. Thanks for your comment and welcome!
Jul 10, 2012 @ 23:47:20
I had to comment (and smile) at the WP tag recommendation for your post. I sometimes wonder if WP is trying to tell me something with their suggested tags, too. Luckily, I haven’t been diagnosed with a personality disorder… yet.
And disconnect? It happens to me all the time, especially in the summer months when I’m super busy with work. Just peeking in from the fog that is my life right now!
Jul 11, 2012 @ 12:25:57
I wish I could explain my disconnect away with being too busy, but its not really that. I don’t know, maybe WP has it right.