Catching Up, Cleaning Up, Starting Over

Standing at the Precipice

Have you ever felt like you were teetering on the peak of a mountain, and your next step will lead you to destinations unknown? You could step off and plummet toward the crags below. You could step off and defy gravity, being buffeted by winds that carry you into magical possibilities. You could step off onto an invisible path in the sky that leads in a meandering fashion to points well beyond your vision, even with the eagle-eye perspective of your high perch.

Or you could try to turn back and walk down from that peak. However, as you look behind you at the path you took to climb this far you see the dangers that lie that way. Your past journey involved a complex maze made up of false starts, dead-ends, obstacles, steep cliffs, dark caverns, some easy passages where the climb was pleasant, and many unexpected surprises.

You stand there, on that peak, and breathe deeply of air so fresh and full of oxygen that your head begins to spin, and you become unsure of where you are or where you are going. The only thing that is clear is that you cannot stay on that peak forever. Eventually you must take a step and enter the unknown.

I am on that peak. I know that it is time to change, to take a blind leap, and to move forward into something different.

Tying Up Loose Ends

Before I do this, however, I feel like I’ve been letting a lot of things dangle loosely over the past month. I need to catch up on myself, and find a stopping point to some of them so that I can take the step I need to take. That includes some less-than-pleasant tasks like writing a letter to make a final attempt to deal with the evil corporation. It also, however, includes acknowledging some past kindnesses that have been sent my way and got swept aside during the overwhelming emotions of the past few weeks.

The first kindness came from Stuart Nager, a wonderful person, talented writer, long-distance “kindred spirit” who, I must say is also part of the inspiration for the next step in my journey. Stuart has been going through some life challenges lately, and sharing his very personal journey in an honest and inspiring way through his blog called The Opening of Doors. Almost a month ago, Stuart nominated me for the Inspiring Blog Award, an award which I have received in the past but which means even more to me coming from this kind and inspirational man. While my head is in too many places at the moment to pass on the award appropriately, I wanted to acknowledge Stuart’s kind gift and officially off it to all of you who have inspired me with you kindness, your words, and your generosity in this slightly bizarre community that has played such an important role in my life over the past few years.

In the same vein, I have to thank the wonderful and talented Victoria Walters who tagged me in the Liebster Award last week. I honestly haven’t been reading enough lately to pass the award onto 11 blogs. Forgive me but life has just become too much for me to keep up. However, I will answer the 11 random questions Victoria asked because some of the answers are relevant to what comes next.

• What made you want to be a writer? Simple, I love words and always have, whether written or spoken.
• Where do you find the inspiration for your writing? From trying to be open to everything around me.
• What are your goals for 2013?  This is a tough one, but so important. I want to write more, but more importantly submit more. I want to be kind to myself. I want to work toward being healthy and living each day with no regrets.
• What’s your favourite quote? “Believe.”
• Where in the world would you most like to visit? Where wouldn’t I like to visit? Right now Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, and Greece top my list.
• What five things would you take to a desert island? A kindle (for the random 4G signals I’ll miraculously pick up), pens and paper, a pillow or hammock, chocolate.
• What is your biggest strength and your biggest weakness? My biggest weakness is my inability to name my biggest strength.
• If you could met one author, who would you choose? I can’t really decide, but I’ll say Victoria Walters.
• What’s your favourite film? I don’t have a favorite but love romantic comedies.
• If you went into The Hunger Games, what would be your most useful skill? Thinking quickly under pressure . . . but ultimately I’d be doomed by my empathy and unwillingness to kill
• Which fictional male would you most like to marry? I can’t think of one, but there are plenty I would like a hot and steamy romance with.

Stepping into the Unknown

Okay, so I tied up some loose ends . . . although perhaps not completely. Now its time to leap, so I am making an announcement. I may not be spending much time at Women Wielding Words for a while. This will still be the home of my random thoughts, 100 Word Challenges and occasional rants. However, I am determined to reinvent myself this year, and figure out how to became the person I truly want to be. I feel like Woman Wielding Words has helped me get to this point, but now I feel blocked and like I’m just weaving empty words. So, I’m starting a slightly different blog which I am calling Re-Envisioning Lisa. You are welcome to follow me over there, of course, but it will be different. I want to use that blog to help me find the path that I can’t see, which means it may be more “journal-like” or essay exploring the what-ifs and whys of my life as I take my first hesitant steps off of the precipice.

From there . . . who knows.

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