The Persistent Power of Perfectionism

A nebulous form with multiple eyes,  many arms,  a thousand voices, and a powerful brain holds the ultimate power of destruction by persistently introducing self-doubt into my brain.

Why does it have many eyes? So that it can see into every possible venue where I might feel insecure. It can look at everything I’m doing and catch the tiniest error, even ones nobody else can see. It sees all so it can pounce early.

Why does it have many arms? It can catch and hold me wherever I am. If I fight back, it grips me harder. If I sneak away, one of its long arms can stretch and grab ahold. It can seduce me to, with the comfort of a hug, if it so choses.

Why does it have many voices? Different voices have different effects at different times. Sometimes it speaks in my dreams, sometimes while I am awake. Sometimes the voice is my own. Sometimes it is a voice from my past, or even someone from my present. Some of them are loud, some of them repetitive, all of them manipulative.

Why does it have a powerful brain? It must so that it knows the best way to strike. It reads my mind and then choses the right voice, the right words, the most effective way to win.

But here’s the thing.  I know it exists now. And, I may not know how yet, but I know this monster can be defeated. I am going to fight, and I am going to overcome it. I will not let it win this time. That is my new truth.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. taochild
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 14:33:45

    Who you gonna call? Jr Ghost Busters!!!

    Head your own creation. No monster is undefeatable (<- is that a word?)!

    Reply

  2. Trackback: Reflections on Writing « Woman Wielding Words
  3. Kathy
    Mar 02, 2013 @ 13:56:32

    Ahhhh, you’ve written about this Creature, too. (Saw your link in your “About” post.) May we tame it…somehow…or at least somehow learn not to believe it or take it so literally. Amen.

    Reply

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