What’s It All For?

Grumpy Post Day!

I have had it. I am tired of wandering through the world of blogs and Hubs to find mediocre posts gaining accolades and readers, when the writer’s who spend time honing their craft and perfecting their posts get left behind in the dust.

I’m tired of writing hundreds or thousands of words each day, only to feel that my work is still somehow not good enough or funny enough or interesting enough to get notice from the publishers and editors and rulers of the blogosphere.

I know I shouldn’t care about Site Stats or numbers of followers, especially when I have such a wonderful group of friends here, but I can’t help it. I would be a liar if I said I didn’t want to have hundreds of readers and to know that I had written something of value.

I’m tired of being told that I just have to keep working hard and practice my writing. I do work hard at everything I do. I can take pride in my accomplishments, but sometimes knowing I do good work IS NOT ENOUGH! Sometimes you want acknowledgement, accolades, or at least some kind of recognition that the hard work isn’t simply disappearing into the void.

I’m tired of being told that it doesn’t matter what other people think. I know it shouldn’t, but it does matter. I’m not saying my whole self-worth depends on what other people think, but once in a while it matters that people do have something to say in response to you. Without interaction, all you are is alone. So whether someone loves or hates my work doesn’t matter, but it does matter that I know that people READย my work. If nobody is reading I might as well be writing in my journal, which is a story for one.

I’m lost in a sea of words right now, and can’t seem to find a reason for writing anymore. I’m not blocked, I have plenty of things to say. I just don’t know why I bother. I explored this further in a less whiny post on this Hub, but I figure you are all my blogging family, so if I can’t bitch and moan here, where else can I do it?

I apologize for the grumpy post. Now I will put myself into a time out until I feel better.

67 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bornstoryteller
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 11:47:24

    There there :::pat pat pat::::::

    Reply

  2. rumpydog
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:03:42

    I get it. But I’m also tired of being poor so I do what I gotta do to get a little recognition. Sellout? Maybe. I still sleep at night.

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:07:55

      I don’t think you are a sell-out. I’m trying to make some money off of this too, but even that seems like a pipe dream to me at the moment, while some people can rake in thousands of dollars a day. I just don’t get it.

      Reply

  3. lifeintheboomerlane
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:09:27

    Many poorly written books rise to the bestseller lists, are devoured by book clubs, and make tons of money for their authors. Well-known and respected magazines feature articles written by mediocre writers. A sunami of trite blog posts rolls out each hour, often resulting in accolades from readers. Freshly Pressed often chooses posts not worth reading. None of this will change, and you can make yourself crazy trying to make sense of it. We writers have chosen to live in a world that is maddeningly subjective, capricious, and often downright “unfair.” It is our curse and our joy.

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:11:53

      So very true Renee, I think we are all crazy. ๐Ÿ˜›

      Reply

    • countingducks
      Oct 16, 2011 @ 02:07:26

      This comment is spt on. Seeing rubbish rise to the top of the pile while other more considered and perceptive writings lanquish in some unread wilderness is a sad comment on life in general and blogging. It’s not going t change so we have to live with it. Many now famous authors were unread during their life and went to their grave feeling unrecognised. Sometimes it takes more than the span of a life to be recognsed

      Reply

      • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
        Oct 16, 2011 @ 09:24:54

        So, I guess, if I come back as a ghost (see my most recent post) I might see some happy results in the future. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Reply

  4. thelifeofjamie
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:11:48

    You are worth reading…otherwise I wouldn’t have subscribed to you! I am selective with my subscriptions! ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a better day

    Reply

  5. LittleMissVix
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:13:28

    Aw Lisa. At least it’s Friday!

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:54:59

      Friday is meaningless in my current looking for work world. ๐Ÿ˜‰ My work week starts and ends on Saturday. ๐Ÿ˜› But thanks anyway.

      Reply

  6. heikoworld
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:20:31

    Looks like it is one of those days Lisa. I feel like that sometimes but you do write a lot more than I ever do, I find great pleasure in getting out and taking lots of photographs, but then I still have to sort them out then upload them.
    Fear Not, I read everything you write along with other blogs and love them all.
    Then twice a week I present my radio show, that takes hours sorting which music I am going to play AND, what I am going to say, it all turns out right in the end.

    Heiko

    Reply

  7. Mrs Skinner
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:34:49

    My life is manic ATM but I do make sure I read your posts. I have to put my hand up & apologise that I don’t always comment. Sorry.
    I go through phases when I get caught up with all the stats stuff but then it dies down & I’m back to being happy that folks (even a few) like my work.
    You can come out of the time-out space when you can give us a smile!

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:47:43

      You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, except maybe for the fact that you responded as Mrs. Skinner again. ๐Ÿ˜› I know I have faithful readers and I try to be faithful too. I also know we have busy lives and cannot always respond to posts. I think what set me off this time was actually from something on HubPages. I noticed this one person who had only joined two weeks ago and already had 1000 hits on his site. His posts were ok, but contained numerous grammatical errors, not creative grammatical errors but errors from poor writing, including misspellings. It just made me made. Uh-oh, I think I need more time-out.

      Reply

      • Sparks In Shadow
        Oct 14, 2011 @ 15:36:44

        I thought today’s post might have come from something like that. Seeing that kind of writing getting so many hits sets me off, too. One thing that crosses my mind, but doesn’t make me feel better, is that those people have a huge cache of friends and family who help drive up the numbers.

        It’s like those (insert talent here) contests that are really popularity contests because you only win if you know tons of people who will visit a site and click a button for you. Now that I understand how they work, I make sure not to enter those kinds anymore. I guess I need a time out, too.

        Reply

  8. Trackback: 7 Ways To Defeat Disappointment « Spirit Lights The Way
  9. maryannsteiner from My Reality Shown
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:49:57

    I feel that way too at times, and I have to give myself a pep talk. There were many years when I didn’t write even though I had this nagging feeling that was what I am suppose to be doing. Writing helps me to be my happiest even though it is just for me most of the time.

    I hope your day gets better. I noticed all your blog awards! You must be doing something write, I mean right:)

    P.S. The Book Thief is one of my favorite books!

    Reply

  10. Gobetween
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:51:38

    ๐Ÿ˜€

    Reply

  11. Rose
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 13:20:56

    In some ways I find it so unfair that much of the writing world, and other worlds, is a matter of luck. A couple of people with a ton of sway happen upon your writing and like it and away you go – or not. It’s hard for me to believe that this won’t eventually happen for you.

    The desire for recognition is a really challenging one to deal with, I find. I feel like I should find satisfaction within myself and good things will follow, but I do want people to notice. It sucks. I hope you feel better soon.

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 13:46:33

      Rose, I’ve been working hard not to worry about what others think, but some days are obviously harder than others. My mood today is possibly enhanced by trying to get my CV in shape for a class that I am trying to get. CVs and resumes are cruel and evil tests of marketing ability and I hate them with a passion.

      Reply

  12. madelinelaughs
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 13:26:14

    Sending hugs and cyber love. I read you and I love your writing. Never stop!

    Reply

  13. heikoworld
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 13:56:04

    Lisa, here is where you can listen if you have the time.

    http://www.10radio.org

    click Listen at the top left

    Heiko

    Reply

  14. Val
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 14:22:48

    I don’t always know what to say, but I’m reading. As well as being subscribed via WordPress, I’ve got your blog in my feed readers.

    Reply

  15. Elizabeth Harper
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 14:32:02

    I’m here reading too even though I don’t comment very often. I don’t know how long you’ve been blogging, but try not to get discouraged too early.

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 14:46:17

      Thanks Elizabeth. I think it has been about a year and a half now. My venting today was more of a response to my HubPages where someone got 1000 hits in two weeks for no reason that I can understand.

      Reply

  16. Arlee Bird
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 14:34:52

    I think this is the big question anyone who writes asks at sometime. Not sure what the answer is to your contemplative questions or if there is any simple answer. But here’s something that could help for now:

    Go to my blog post for today at Tossing It Out. Follow the links I have provided and give your encouragement to each of these fine writers (who are likewise probably thinking about the same things you are). If you pay it forward to them I think you will be paid back in kind.

    When you get to the final link, which is my guest post on the blog of a 20 year old blogger / novelist who would probably appreciate your encouragement, check out what I’m doing and let me know if you’d like to submit a guest post or at least just spread the word about what I’m writing.

    It’s a circle, not vicious, but lovely, golden, and friendly. Just my suggestion for vanquishing the grumpy spirit and spreading some writerly love.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 14:55:19

      I love the idea of paying it forward and I indeed try to do that myself. But sometimes it still feels like tilting at windmills.

      Reply

  17. Rae
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 14:56:13

    You are entitled to this post. I think everyone should be able to have one from time to time. And yes, you’re right. It’s one of those things that when you look at how well some are doing and why others aren’t – it makes no sense. Keep on trucking. It will pay off sooner rather than later.

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 14:58:48

      Thanks Rae. I almost done sulking now, but I am still annoyed not just for myself but for all those fabulous writer’s who seem to get shafted.

      Reply

  18. An Embarrassment of Freedom
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 15:10:32

    Just keep the faith and doing what you love…you can see the support here from all the responses. As a writer friend of mine says, just lay it on the line and don’t worry about the approval. I understand the need to work believe me,

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 15:13:31

      I have to say I’m kind of amazed at the response. I thought everyone would not even want to read, after all my post is basically a whiny rant. I also thought people would say, “shut up, you have readers.” LOL, I guess it just goes to show you that even crappy days have silver linings.

      Reply

  19. Robin Hawke
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 16:19:53

    It’s the big stuff that gets me down…the state of earth, inhumanity, the appeal of snark. It’s the little stuff that pulls me up, often tiny things. So even though writers have to see the big picture to make observations, its important our lives focus on details or life quickly becomes overwhelming.

    Courage Wielding One. Robin

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 16:46:05

      I’ve had to block out a lot of the big stuff lately because it brings me down so much, such as the horrendous vote that just passed today which justifies women dying in the emergency room rather than getting medical attention. I know I should write about these kind of issues, but the world feels so hopeless lately. So we focus on the little details and move forward. Thanks for your comment Robin.

      Reply

  20. IsobelandCat
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 17:30:51

    But you’ve got loads of blogging awards…. I don’t get what you are unhappy about. It seems to me that lots of people have recognised you. There are nearly forty comments on this post. isn’t that enough?

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 17:41:42

      To quote from a favorite old movie of mine “you’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right.” But seriously, I don’t usually get this many comments. I must have hit a nerve today.

      I have a small group of readers, and ultimately that is enough. I often get stuck in the world of comparison, wondering why so-and-so is more popular than I. I try not to, but sometimes it gets the better of me. I tend to be more sensitive to it when I’m trying to figure out how to make myself more marketable, and today I was dealing with trying to get my CV ready for a position that I am applying for, one that I know I am qualified for but I have to make myself stand out in the crowd. I think what I was trying to get at with this rant is that I don’t know how to do that. Does that make sense?

      Reply

      • Sparks In Shadow
        Oct 14, 2011 @ 19:54:54

        Makes sense to me. When I was still trying to find a job the “traditional” way, I felt dehumanized by the relatively new, cutthroat sort of competition my jobs service meetings say we all have to play into now. It makes me feel like I can never be enough for an employer because I’m not “perfect.” How do we stand out when the ideal is perfection?

        Reply

        • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
          Oct 14, 2011 @ 20:36:56

          That’s a fabulous question, Sparks. It’s a sad world when you have to prove perfection to even get a foot in the door.

          Reply

  21. Sandi Ormsby
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 18:01:55

    You get more people responding on your site than I do mine.

    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
    Lake Forest, CA

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 18:11:59

      Simply another example of how ridiculous it is Sandi, because you deserve to have a zillion followers, because of your humor and your skill with creating a sense of community. I know that I was ranting today, but I am not ranting just about myself. I don’t understand the system and it frustrates me.

      Reply

  22. k8edid
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 18:14:08

    LIsa, I enjoy reading about your journeys (literal and figurative). I pretty much have decided that Freshly Pressed is not worth worrying about. Occasionally they hit it out of the ballpark, but mostly not. I think when the post “Drunk Advice is the Best Advice” was Freshly Pressed, I decided that it did not matter to me one bit if they ever decided to shine their spotlight on me. I do check it from time to time to see if any of my blogger friends make it (Maineiac just did!!!) and I am thrilled for them if it happens.

    I’m not trying to make money from writing, so maybe my outlook is skewed differently – I just want, like you, to know that people are reading. I hope that your day goes better – things will fall into place.

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 18:28:41

      Your perspective is not skewed. The money thing was only a recent attempt on my part, as I find myself trying to figure out a way to contribute to my household in this new situation I’m in. But really, WWW is my home for writing and words, not my market for financial gain. I agree with you about Freshly Pressed. I wish they changed it so people could nominate their favorite posts to become FP, rather than some random unknown selecting it. I would choose many posts from some of my favorite bloggers.

      Thanks for your supportive words. It means a lot.

      Lisa

      Reply

  23. Barbarann Ayars
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 18:41:13

    Having a snit is a God-given right. Biting and kicking are not. I read this piece twice and don’t see either biting or kicking. Now, what kind of rant is that? Hair pulling doesn’t count. it’s ok to stick your tongue out. It’s not good to pick your nose and then do things with it. But I ‘spect you’d never even think of that. Think a bit about the lowly newbie talking to myself about memoir at http://www.makeminememoir.blogspot.com. or whatever it is. That’s how little I go there. I don’t do well at talking to myself audibly, let alone typing it out at some website. I thought it would be fun. It’s not. Talking to you at your blog is. I suppose some folks read me. A little. No one writes, except once your brother, who I thought was your sister. I don’t have time to waste there talking to just me. By now I know me pretty good. Who would care, really, unless they too are struggling with memoir. IT’s a small audience even if i don’t see it. Go wash your face, have a cool drink and take a walk. It’s okay. Trust me. Okay.

    Reply

    • Arlee Bird
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 19:13:32

      Barbarann– the link you left in your comment is incorrect. It should be .com not .net I found it okay anyway and left you a comment.

      Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 20:52:49

      Barbarann, I owe you a huge apology. I have a harder time following my favorite bloggers that are not on WordPress. It is the one aspect of this technology that has eluded me. I promise to read you more often from now on.

      Lisa

      Reply

  24. jeanne
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 18:48:21

    Lisa, I feel you. I sometimes read a freshly pressed blog and think..Reallly? You have put my thoughts into words. You are not alone.

    Reply

  25. Aligaeta
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 19:25:21

    I see… it was just one of those days. Could you imagine if they freshly pressed this one rant instead of any of the many wonderful posts you have written? Wouldn’t that be a kick in the ass? My best to you for a better tomorrow. HAPPY WRITING dear blogging friend.

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 14, 2011 @ 20:38:56

      LOL, that would be hilarious, and would simply prove what we’ve all been saying, FP makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE!

      Reply

  26. Dana
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 20:21:15

    Hi Lisa,
    I finally got around to subscribing to your blog (I’ve meant to for a long time but get really busy during the summers). How funny to have this as the first post of yours in my inbox! ๐Ÿ™‚
    You are totally justified in your sentiments. I often find myself feeling the same way and then having ‘teacher-like’ words with myself– intellectualizing my way out of the feelings, I guess. I can only say that a smaller, engaged community will trump a large, unconnected one any day. It seems you are cultivating the former on your blog, and I’ll happily engage… now that I’ve finally subscribed!
    Cheers from a new reader and virtual friend,
    Dana

    Reply

  27. ElizOF
    Oct 15, 2011 @ 02:32:28

    We all feel the frustration at different times and then we remind ourselves of why we do it… Our raison d’etre must hold greater sway over the accolades because, like celebrity, accolades ebb and flow.
    My recommendation is to connect with other bloggers, build connections, comment on their blogs regularly and keep honing your craft… the rest will follow or something better will come along. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 15, 2011 @ 08:30:02

      I think the struggle comes when you lose sight of the raison d’etre, which I have been doing lately. But it’s all good.

      Reply

  28. My Inner Chick
    Oct 15, 2011 @ 12:18:32

    —We all feel like this sometimes. Seriously. Even the so-called- BIG Ass – bloggers.

    — you see, Dooce, Red Neck Mommy, etc… Don’t give a damn what people think about them….they just keep writing their truth, their honest truth.

    You Do the same.

    You ARE ENOUGH!

    Reply

  29. countingducks
    Oct 16, 2011 @ 02:33:13

    Far from being a grumpy rant I think this post is spot on. I woke up yesterday, went for a walk and then checked my dashboard before beginning writing. I am in the UK so my clock is a bit diferent to many other bloggers. I looked at my readership for the day. Zero, yes, nothing, not a single glimpse. I had to start laughing to myself. I agree FP is open to ridicule because their criteria for picking posts seems to be based on layout and pictures rather than content but what can you do. Sometimes I labour really hard over a post and it comes from deep within my heart and my experience. The responses, though gratifying, can be few in number. Somehow I am sure if I wrote a post entitled “I’m having trouble Baking today” about making bread or whatever it would gain a greater response more quickly. Sometimes the more worthwhile stuff is not as accessible. In the fhis fast moving, click of a mouse, lets change the channel world, that can be a problem. Having said that I really love this Blog which I have rediscovered. I tend to comment on Blogs of people who comment on mine because thats how I know they exist. You don’t comment on mine so I did’nt realise you were here until I clicked on my About page. I shall try and add you to my Blogroll so I can remember to look at you. I read my Blogroll every day

    Reply

    • Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
      Oct 16, 2011 @ 09:23:50

      Welcome Peter, and my apologies. I try to comment on posts often, but because of time, I tend to read posts on blogs that I follow. I thought I had hit follow on your blog, but for whatever reason that didn’t actually take. But I’m there now, and I will be reading and commenting. Weekends tend to have lower hits in general, which I think is a good thing. When I was doing post a day earlier this year, blogging became an overwhelming obsession for a lot of people, and it started affecting life in the real world. Now people seem to be finding more balance.

      I think it is a sad statement of society that people only seem to read and enjoy small bits of information, rather than spending time with quality thoughts and writing.

      Reply

  30. CMSmith
    Oct 16, 2011 @ 15:24:40

    I’m reading them.

    Reply

  31. Trackback: Life is in the doing | The odd ramblings of a mind that does not quite fit

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