So I changed the tense and the wording of this week’s challenge phrase ” . . . as the apple fell . . . “? What can I say, I’m a rebel. Be sure to check out other people’s submissions.
Her hands grasp rough tree bark, limbs seeking support to climb toward the crystal sky. Bright apples dangling below don’t challenge the determined picker. They call for immediate consumption, sweet juices dripping down chins and hands creating finger-licking fun. The climber strives to reach the perfect specimen –ruby red, with only the slightest touch of green. A flawless fruit, large enough to fill the empty spaces but small enough to maintain the delicate combination of sweet and sour she craves. As she stretches toward her prize a hungry breeze claims it first. “The search continues,” she says as she watches the apple fall.
4amWriter
Sep 20, 2012 @ 18:21:49
Neat. I can really taste and feel that apple.
I did this one, too. On my initial attempt I did it in present tense, not realizing my mistake. Then I saw the prompt was in past tense–so I switched the tense. Apparently I am not a rebel. I am a goody-2-shoes. 🙂
I should have been a rebel like you.
Lisa Wields Words
Sep 20, 2012 @ 18:28:24
😀 I actually started changing it to the past tense, to be good, but I liked the immediacy of the present tense. I had to combat by goody-2-shoes tendency in the name of art! 😉
Older Mum (@Older_Mum)
Sep 21, 2012 @ 02:48:10
That was great. Really, really evocative. Lovely descriptions.
Lisa Wields Words
Sep 21, 2012 @ 07:57:40
Thank you.
Delft
Sep 21, 2012 @ 09:42:49
Mmmm. I need to go an buy some apples…
Lisa Wields Words
Sep 21, 2012 @ 10:50:38
I’ve been craving them since I wrote this post. Time for apple picking this weekend, I think.
DancingInTheRain
Sep 21, 2012 @ 11:49:28
Nicely written piece – but not a rebel. You just didn’t succeed in meeting the challenge….:-)
Lisa Wields Words
Sep 21, 2012 @ 13:34:01
I feel like I succeeded, just in my own way. Thanks for the comment.
sjbwriting
Sep 22, 2012 @ 03:40:15
I enjoyed this Lisa. I don’t care that it is a different tense to the prompt – it reads beautifully.
Lisa Wields Words
Sep 22, 2012 @ 07:52:29
Thanks. That’s why I chose to stay in present tense, I liked the way it flowed.
nrhatch
Sep 23, 2012 @ 08:50:30
It’s been ages since I climbed a tree to grab an apple. Always worth the climb! 😀
Lisa Wields Words
Sep 23, 2012 @ 11:26:02
We went apple picking yesterday. There’s nothing like a fresh apple off of a tree.